


Lose it All

by 1001TalesFicFest, Dreamy_Ideal



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 10:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12982521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1001TalesFicFest/pseuds/1001TalesFicFest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamy_Ideal/pseuds/Dreamy_Ideal
Summary: Tale#: 337“You were in a car accident. Do you remember what happened?”





	Lose it All

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Thank you to the mods for hosting this fest and a super special thank you to the prompter! I had been suffering through writer's block for nearly a year, to the point where even 200 words of anything gave me a headache, but then I saw your prompt and it was like I was struck by lighting! You are the real mvp, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and I hope you enjoy this :3

He woke up to the sound of someone crying near him. He moaned softly and then coughed, not bothering with opening his eyes. That felt hard. Everything was hurting. If he had been sleeping then he wanted to go back to doing just that.

 

"Suho? Suho!" The crying that he'd heard before was replaced by shouting. He didn't recognize the voice nor what it was saying. He moaned in pain again and tried to roll over, but something was stopping him. Weakly he reached out to try to push whatever it was out of the way. "Suho, wait, wait please, the doctor will be here. Nurse, please hurry!"

 

Everything faded away around him.

 

\--

 

“You were in a car accident. Do you remember what happened?”

 

He stared at the doctor in front of him trying to recall something, anything. After a few minutes he shook his head, the effort he was putting in frustrating him. “It’s okay if you don’t, please don’t force yourself.” The doctor wrote something on her clipboard. “Do you know who you are? Again don’t force yourself.”

 

He looked from her down to the man sitting at his bedside. He was disheveled and red eyed, tears running down his cheek. He wished he could answer the question for that man’s sake, he looked broken. Sadly he had to shake his head again. There just wasn’t anything there. The man his side looked up at the doctor with distress in his eyes. She set a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Physically, Mr. Kim, you didn’t sustain any major injuries, just a few bruises here and there, however you are suffering from memory loss. It sounds very bad--”

 

“It does,” he agreed

 

“But typically, such extensive memory loss is temporary. In a few days’ time you should start to recover your memories. Sometimes it’s sudden, sometimes it’s gradual, but it will happen.”

 

“Is there anything I can do to help him remember?” The man beside him asked her.

 

“Keep from overwhelming him. Take him home, keep him comfortable, limit his visitors until he starts to show signs of recovery.” The man nodded. “We’ll do a few more tests to rule out any possibility of a head injury, and then we’ll go from there.”

 

“Thank you doctor,” the other man said. She bowed her head before leaving the room. The other man hung his head, his shoulders shaking as he began to cry.

 

He wished he could say something to make the man feel better. He couldn’t remember anything before he ended up in the hospital, but he could recall something from when he woke up the first time.

 

“I’m…Suho, right?” The other man looked up suddenly.

 

“Yes, yes. Kim Suho.” The man took his hand and held it tightly. “That’s right.”

 

It didn’t strike a cord with him; there was still a thick fog where his life was supposed to be. The doctor did say it could a gradual process. It stirred up frustration, if only because this man crying beside him seemed more distraught by his missing memories than he was. “Do you remember who I am?” Suho shook his head. “It’s okay. Once we get home you’ll have all the time to figure out. I’m Yixing.”

 

\--

 

Suho was a twin and his brother was currently in a coma. Yixing filled him in on the taxi ride back home when he was cleared to leave.

 

The information didn’t trigger anything in him besides a stronger desire to have his memories hurry and return to him. His twin brother was in a coma and he knew that he should feel devastated about that, hell have any kind of reaction to it. Yixing didn’t pressure him to feel anyway about it.

 

“It will come back,” Yixing said, more confidence in his voice than when they were at the hospital. “Until then, you should rest. Me and Sehun will keep an eye on brother.”

 

Suho watched Yixing as he dug around for his keys. He was wearing a white dress shirt that was half unbuttoned, dirty and stained. His face was still puffy and red from crying and there were bags under his eyes. “I think you should rest too.”

 

“Oh no, no bunny, I’m okay. I’ll go take a shower and then I’ll go back to see brother.” Yixing made a little noise of surprise as he walked into the house. “Oh, Minseok hyung said he would come by and clean up, but I think he did it too well. You might not recognize it.”

 

Suho caught a note posted on the back of the door while he got out of his shoes. “Kyungsoo left food in the fridge.” Yixing gave a sigh of relief.

 

“We have good friends. I need to call and thank them. You should shower first, oh, but I need to show you where the bathroom is--”

 

Suho reached out to grab Yixing’s wrist and stop him. His words were so rushed that Suho was a little worried that Yixing would take off running away from him. Yixing turned around with a questioning look on his face. Then his eyes began to fill with tears. “I’m sorry,” he said with a shaking voice.

 

“It’s okay,” Suho assured him. Maybe he didn’t know all the finer points about why he didn’t want the man crying, but he didn’t want to see it.

 

“Can I hug you?”

 

“Of course.” Yixing practically flew into his arms, burying his face into Suho’s neck. Now this was something that felt familiar. There was no specific memory that came to him yet, rather the certainty that there was one waiting for him.

 

“I almost lost you,” Yixing sobbed. Suho rubbed the man’s back gently. “But now your brother…”

 

“It’s okay,” he repeated. There wasn’t much else he could do in his current state besides say that it would be okay and hope that he wasn’t lying about it. They stood there for a while like that in the entryway, until Yixing decided to take his shower first after all.

 

He meant to look around while Yixing was in the shower, but Suho hadn’t realized just how tired he was until his butt hit couch cushion. By the time he summoned up enough energy to do that Yixing had already returned, looking much better in a hoodie and sweatpants with freshly washed hair. “Your turn?”

 

Yixing took him to the bathroom, showed him some soaps and shampoos that were his. Maybe he hoped they would trigger something in him but Suho had honestly given up on that for the day. He cleaned until the feeling of the hospital was mostly gone, looked for the bruises covering his legs and chest, noticed the ring on his for the first time.

 

When he was done Yixing brought him some clothes to change into and took him back to their bedroom. “Get some rest bunny,” he said after Suho flopped down on the bed.

 

“What are you going to do?”

 

“I’m going to take a nap on the couch.” Suho frowned.

 

“Are we married?”

 

“Engaged.”

 

“How long?”

 

“4 days,” Yixing laughed softly. “But we dated for 3 years.”

 

“Then just lie down with me.”

 

Yixing fidgeted in the doorway. “I’ll start crying again.”

 

“Then cry,” Suho said. “If you can’t cry about this I don’t know what you can. It doesn’t bother me.”

 

Lying next to him, Yixing did begin to cry. It tapered off after Suho draped an arm over Yixing’s waist. “It’s going to be okay?” Yixing muttered.

 

“It will.”

\--

 

Suho fought against it as long as he could, he even managed to fall back asleep for a good solid 3 seconds, but eventually he had to give into the light shining into his eyes. He stretched out and opened his eyes, and his heart skipped a beat at the first sight he took in.

 

Yixing was lying down facing him, bathed in the sunlight that woke him up. He looked like an actual angel lying in bed beside him. Suho brushed his fingers gently over Yixing’s cheek until his eyes opened up halfway.

 

"Did you dream about anything?" Yixing’s voice was soft and hoarse and pleasing. Their eyes met for a moment and the sleepy gaze that greeted him made his heart jump once more. Had it been like this ever morning until then?

 

"I don't remember," he replied. He dreamt, but whatever it was didn't leave him feeling too much different than he did before he went to bed. It wasprobably too much for him to hope that after one night of sleep he’d wake up like nothing had ever happened to him. "Did you?"

 

"I had the bird dream again," Yixing said woefully. _Again_.

 

"How many times is it now?"

 

"Five. I wish they would go and bother someone else." Suho chuckled. So the bird dream was a bad one.

 

"Tell them to bother me instead."

 

"I tried last time, they don't listen." Last time. So that was the right thing to say. Suho smiled. Maybe he was able to say something right because everything at that moment felt right. It felt satisfying. When the pieces of his life came back together they would make up pictures of moments like this one, there wasn't a doubt in him about it.

 

“Tonight, I’ll ask them to come to me instead. It will work this time.”

 

“Okay.” Yixing yawned. “I believe you.”

 

“What do you want to dream about instead?”

 

“Dinosaurs.”

 

“Dinosaurs it is.” The sleepy grin that spread over Yixing’s lips made Suho almost want to cry. Of course they were engaged, Suho was giddy over this man and all he had to do was wake up and stress over his subconscious bird problem. He leaned forward, kissing him softly. Yixing sighed and leaned into him, kissing back lazily.

 

“I’m going to go see brother and Sehun today,” Yixing said after they separated. He must have read something in Suho’s expression because he added, “you don’t have to come, not yet. Stay in bed and rest. When I come back we can eat Kyungsoo’s food together.”

 

“That sounds nice.” Yixing kissed him again then rolled himself out of bed. Suho quietly watched him as he dressed, pulling on a black hoodie and  “You’re so handsome.”

 

“Ah, no.” That goofy smile he made put one on Suho’s face. “Not as much as my bunny.” Yixing pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be back soon. Rest while I’m gone, okay?”

 

Suho wasn’t able to rest. The silence unnerved him. He got out of bed not too long after Yixing left so he could turn on the TV in the living room. Some variety show came onto the screen and he allowed the jokes and laughter to provide him with some company as he walked around the house.

 

It was a small place but it looked like it was just enough space for them. There wasn’t a whole lot of furniture; maybe they moved in not too long ago or they decided that they didn’t need much of anything. Whatever the casewas the lack of furniture allowed more of an emphasis on what was hanging on the wall.

 

Suho closely examined one of the many pictures hanging on the wall. It was Yixing standing next to a taller man, the both of them surrounded by smiling kids. The one next to it was Yixing on a stage; it looked as though he was dancing. After that there were some abstract paintings, then there was a picture of him and his brother.

 

They looked different in the picture: one of them was wearing an apron covered in paint, his pink hair swept backwards, the other was neatly dressed with tidy black hair. Suho wasn’t able to pick himself out. But there he was, a whole twin. He hoped he was going to be okay. He didn’t know him yet but he missed him.

 

He continued to look at the walls filled with pictures of temporary strangers, important to him in some manner. There were more paintings as well, making him wonder if maybe he had created those, that he was the painter in that picture of him and his twin. It seemed that he had a nice life. He hoped that was really the case.

 

Suho sat down on the couch. On the end table beside him there was another picture frame sitting under a lamp. He picked it up, smiling at the image of Yixing dressed much like he was when he left the house, his hoodie pulled up and his lips stretched into a tired but bright smile. Sitting beside him was Suho and his brother, this time indistinguishable in every way except for their shirt color.

 

He looked at this picture longer than he did the rest of them. Then something clicked into place, so smoothly that he barely noticed it. He ran his thumb over the image of the twin sitting right next to Yixing, Yixing’s arm slung around him. Yes, that was him.

 

\--

 

_“There he is,” Suho leans over and whispers to him, excitement in his voice._

_Junmyeon didn’t put down his phone in order to try to disguise his subtle look up as much as possible. It was apparent that they noticed the other man before he noticed them, even though he was looking right in their direction. Taking a wild guess, he assumed that it had a lot to do with that fact that he looked like he rolled right out of bed 30 seconds before getting to the park. He had his hood up over his head but that couldn’t tame the mess of bed head that poked out underneath. As he got closer Junmyeon could see that his eyes were more than half-lidded, almost to the point that he had to wonder if the man was literally sleepwalking. He worried even more when the made stopped and suddenly started moving left._

_Suho was holding back a laugh beside him. Maybe this wasn’t the first time the other man wandered around in public in a near sleeping state. Figuring that Suho’s initial plan to shock his boyfriend was out the window, Junmyeon lowered his phone. “Would he keep walking by us if we let him?”_

_“Yea.” The fondness in Suho’s voice made him shake his head. He knew his brother fell into the category of romantic but he’d never thought he’d be so sappy. Suho nudged him. “Call him over.” Junmyeon frowned. “Yixing.”_

_“Yixing!” The sleepwalking man stopped. It took a few seconds for him to look over his shoulder at the bench he and Suho were sitting on. Suho and Junmyeon waved and, after another few beats, Yixing turned and began to walk in their direction._

_“Oh, wow, you really are a twin!” Yixing’s eyes widened as moved closer to them. He bowed his head politely, and as he lifted it up to look between Junmyeon and his brother his heart skipped a beat or two. He really was cute, just like Suho had been sighing about for the past few months._

_“I told you I was a twin,” Junmyeon replied, going forward with Suho’s plan to mess with Yixing a little bit. Just one time, he promised._

_“You’ve seen pictures of us together,” Suho pointed out._

_“I know but…it’s different in person.” Yixing stopped a few steps back from the bench. “I have a friend that has a cousin that’s a twin, but they’re fraternal. You’re really identical.” He smiled widely. “Do you pretend to be each other?”_

_“Yes,” Suho said._

_“Right now,” Junmyeon added._

_Yixing’s smile started to fall. He looked between them again. Though they weren’t wearing the exact same clothes they were in similar enough styles, and for once in their lives they were both blonde at the same time. “Ah, really?”_

_“Yes,” they both said. Yixing’s frown turned into an adorable pout._

_“Suho, no, I don’t want to be impolite to your brother,” he whined, and the only way Junmyeon could describe it was cute._

_“It’s okay,” they both said again. Yixing’s pout turned into a funny face of frustration. He sat down on the bench beside Junmyeon, folding his arms over his chest. Junmyeon was chuckling right up until Yixing snapped his fingers. He glanced and found Yixing had his phone out. Before either of the brothers could react to it Suho’s phone started to ring in his pocket._

_“Brother,” Yixing sang out, stretching his arm out behind Junmyeon and pulling him into a side hung. “Don’t play tricks on me anymore okay? We have to be close. Be on my side now.”_

_“Be on your side?” Suho asked. Yixing ignored him._

_“We’ll play lots of pranks on Suho together.”_

_Junmyeon smiled. “Okay.” Yixing winked at him and Junmyeon was won over._

_“Hey, get your own twin for that.”_

_“I have yours now.”_

\--

 

He got up and walked back to look at the first picture he saw of him and his brother. A messy painter and a well-dressed raven haired…photographer. He was a painter and Suho was a photographer.All the paintings on the wall were his; Suho asked for them for decorations.

 

Junmyeon sighed heavily, letting his head hang forward as he pressed a hand to his forehead. Of course he wasn’t Suho, how the hell did he let himself go on for more than a minute thinking so?Yea, he had amnesia, but he didn’t see that as being a good excuse. He spent his whole life living as not Suho it should have been second nature to him. He should have shaken his head the moment Yixing told him he was Kim Suho. No, not him, he could be anyone else on earth but him.

 

And Yixing. According to him he was Suho’s fiancé. How did he—

 

The ring.

 

Junmyeon raised his hand, looking at the silver band sitting on his ring finger.Was it—no, why would it be? How could it be? But there it was. He touched it just to be sure it was real. Why was he wearing his brother’s engagement ring? Why was his brother lying in a coma and not him?

 

Junmyeon didn’t know how long he laid in bed, staring blankly at the doorway while he waited for the memories that would answer all of his questions to come back. When he came to himself Yixing was standing in his line of sight, looking more than a little worried.

 

“Welcome home,” Junmyeon said softly, giving him the best smile he could manage.

 

“How are you feeling?” He sat down on the bed close to Junmyeon and pulled the hood off of his head.

 

“Tired.” And confused and scared. He hadn’t thought about how he was going to tell Yixing about the identity mix up, but at that moment he decided to wait until he knew how he ended up with his brother’s ring before he did. Guilt turned his stomach.

 

“How is he?”

 

“No change yet,” Yixing said. “But I still have hope. Brother will be okay.” Carefully he crawled over Junmyeon’s body so he could drape an arm over him and curl him close. “We will be okay.”

 

Junmyeon’s heart raced and he didn’t understand it. He knew he wasn’t Suho and that Yixing wasn’t his fiancé, but he didn’t feel any different than he did that morning when he thought that being with Yixing was one of the right pieces of his life. He had to hold back tears. Had he done something wrong?

 

“I don’t know if it will.”

 

The hold on him tightened. “We’ll get through it.”

 

\--

 

The next morning was the same. Yixing got up to go to the hospital so Sehun could go home and rest for a while. Again he did not push Junmyeon to come, assuring him that his brother would want him to be healed and rested before coming to see him. At this point he doubted that his brother would want to see him ever again.

 

When Yixing left Junmyeon got dressed and left the house. He saw keys hanging on a rack next to the front door and tried a few until he found one that fit the lock and then he just…walked. His body was still sore but the sunshine felt nice on his skin and it was somewhat relaxing to be outside of his—his brother’s house for a little while.

 

Initially he walked aimlessly, but as he crossed a certain street and passed a convenience store he found himself turning, a destination in his mind. He knew what that destination was when he got into the neighborhood. More things slid quietly back into place in his mind until he was taking familiar steps up a walkway and digging around in a potted plant for a spare key.

 

He knew it all as soon as he closed the door behind him. Where his room was, the kitchen, his parents’ bedroom, untouched since he and Suho fixed up the day after their funeral, Suho’s room that served as a studio for Junmyeon after the older twin moved out for good.

 

And he remembered Yixing. How the man attracted the neighbor’s cat every time he came over, the cat that hated the twins but could apparently put up with them for the sake of seeing Yixing. How he would bring his guitar whenever he came to visit so he could play and narrate while Junmyeon cooked and destroyed the kitchen. How when he made his dad jokes Yixing either deadpanned so hard Junmyeon couldn’t help but laugh himself or laughed so much he had to wonder which part was that funny. How he would walk Junmyeon home whenever he left Suho’s house late, even though the walk was not long and he was not helpless.

 

“It’s for company,” Yixing would always say. “And the convenience store on the way has good kimbap.”

 

“Are you using me for kimbap?”

 

“I like you but I like kimbap too.”

 

How Yixing stayed with him while his grandmother was in the hospital on her deathbed and Suho was overseas. He held Junmyeon while he cried and worried about how he was going to be able to go on without her there.

 

“Together,” Yixing promised in a whisper. “We will go on together. I’ll be here.”

 

And he was. And he became the best friend a person could ask for. Anyone would count themselves lucky to have him dating their sibling, someone who worked so hard to get to know their partner’s family. And Junmyeon had to go and fuck it all up by falling in love.

 

He was in love with Yixing and now he was wearing Suho’s ring.

 

Pieces were coming back, but the accident was still a big blank spot in his mind. Had he…did he hurt Suho? He was jealous and plotted to take over his life? No, no. He loved his brother so much, he couldn’t dream of hurting him. So what happened?

\--

“I want to go and see him.”

 

Junmyeon stood outside of his brother’s hospital room, unable to move, to breathe. He’d been standing there for what could have easily been hours. If he had been by himself he would have stood there for hours more.

 

He didn’t realize Yixing had left the hospital room until he took Junmyeon’s hand in his, threading their fingers together. “It doesn’t have to be today,” he said to him again, wariness still heavy in his voice. Junmyeon didn’t look away from the door. If not then when would it be? It had been days and he still hadn’t woken up or had any changes. Lying in bed waiting for his nerve to outweigh his guilt Suho could slip away from him. He was already confused about what to do but if Suho died without Junmyeon seeing him he’d be lost.Silently he walked forward, still holding into Yixing’s hand.

 

Seeing his brother there in his hospital bed, hooked up to so many ticking and beeping machines, Junmyeon was unable to hold anything in. He barely managed to make it to the chair Yixing guided him to before he broke down.

 

\--

 

_“How did he pop the question?”_

_“He said he was going to do it at the party,” Suho said. Junmyeon’s attention was drawn to Suho’s hand, his fingers messing with the brand new engagement band sitting on his ring finger. He quickly turned his focus back to his driving. “He told me Baekhyun was going to help him with it too, but he got too nervous to do it.”_

_“Really? Nervous about what?”_

_“He didn’t say why, just that he was. So nervous that he had to do it as soon as we woke up yesterday.” Suho started to laugh. “He was on one knee in front of the bathroom door when I finished with my shower. I thought he was down there for something else.”_

_Junmyeon’s gripped tightened and relaxed on the steering wheel. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be, shouldn’t be, very desperately didn’t want to be. “Then he proposed. Marry me bunny, I’ll be your carrot. He said he’s going to read what he really wanted to say tonight.”_

_Junmyeon wasn’t mad at his brother at least. Yixing was the one that proposed. And he wasn’t mad at Yixing. How could he be? As amazing as he was he couldn’t read minds. How was he supposed to know that the love that his boyfriend’s twin had for him was anything more than brotherly? And even if he had a clue what was there to do about it? Never marry Suho because Junmyeon was a horrible brother and couldn’t find any other person in the world to secretly fall in love with?_

_Yes he was a horrible brother and that’s who he was directing his anger towards: himself. Thinking back over all the chances where he could have put some space between himself and Yixing and didn’t pissed him off. Worse than the anger, though, was the overwhelming guilt. It was so bad that he threw up after getting the text from his brother yesterday, and he was feeling more than a little nauseous right then._

_“You missed the turn.”_

_Junmyeon hadn’t even realized that he zoned out for a moment. “My mistake,” he said softly. “I’ll take the next one.”_

_It was quiet for a minute. “Are you okay?” Junmyeon didn’t answer, acting as though he was concentrating really hard on getting them back on the right route to the party. “For the last few weeks you seem like you’ve been…troubled.” He bit down on the inside of his cheek. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”_

_“But should we talk about it today?” Junmyeon finally snapped out. “This is your night, your engagement. Let’s focus on your happiness.”_

_“I don’t think I can enjoy being happy if I know something’s wrong with you.”_

_“Let it go hyung.”_

_“Is it that you’re in trouble? I can help you if you are--”_

_“I’m in love with Yixing.” He didn’t look over at Suho. He stared holes into the car in front of him as the car fell silent._

_“What?”_

_“I’m in love with your fiancé that’s what my problem is. Can you fix that for me? Can you help me with that problem hyung?”_

_Finally saying it made the guilt slightly more bearable instantly. It was replaced with fear and regret. He should have been stronger and kept his mouth shut. “What—I—How long?” Junmyeon clenched his jaw, refusing to answer. What difference did the length of time make? It wouldn’t change how hurt his brother would be._

_“Kim Junmyeon, talk to me.” He couldn’t. “Say something.” He just couldn’t. “Look at me!”_

_He snapped his head to look at Suho, saw the tears in his eyes._

 

_Everything went black._

\--

 

Junmyeon cried until there was nothing left. From there he just sat still at Suho’s bedside, holding his hand. The sunlight that peaked into the room through the nearby window had died away by the time Yixing got up and put a hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder.

 

“I want to stay,” he said softly.

 

“We can.”

 

“No, you can go home, it’s okay.” Junmyeon looked up to meet his eyes for a moment, then looked away. “I can be alone with him for a little while.”

 

“Alright.” Yixing leaned down to kiss him and Junmyeon flinched back from him. He looked surprised but he didn’t say anything about it. He brushed Junmyeon’s hair gently saying, “I’ll tell Sehun you’ll be here. He could use the rest too.”

 

Once Yixing said goodnight and shut the door behind him Junmyeon gave his attention back to Suho. “Hyung,” he said hoarsely, fresh tears spilling from his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. This is my fault.” It was. Junmyeon shouldn’t have said anything to Suho about what he felt. He should have shut up and dealt with his feelings on his own. But he was weak and couldn’t handle the burden of the secret anymore. Suho would have been able to do it, and that’s why Junmyeon told him. He needed his brother to tell him how to deal with being in love with his new fiancé.

 

And the ring… the ring. There was still space around the memory of the accident but he did remember a bloody hand taking his own and a ring being slid onto his finger.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Suho’s voice said to him over and over, even as he started going limp. “Happy…it’s okay…”

 

Suho put the ring on his finger.

 

\--

 

When he returned home Yixing was sitting on the couch. The TV was on but he looked as though he was staring through it rather than watching it. He jumped a bit in surprise when Junmyeon’s weight settled on the couch. He didn’t say anything and neither did Yixing. He let his hand rest on Junmyeon’s thigh and when he didn’t pull away from that he leaned his head against his shoulder.

 

“He’s not going to be okay,” Junmeyon said finally. The doctor told him before he left. His brother was brain dead.

 

“No,” Yixing agreed in a whisper. Maybe he already knew what the doctor said and wanted to spare his love for as long as possible. Junmyeon couldn’t hold a little lie like that against him, not when he was going to have to hold a bigger one for the rest of his life.

 

He thought about it on the way home, telling Yixing. He didn’t even have to lie about it. He’d accept Yixing’s anger. Then he thought of just how broken Yixing would be. Junmyeon wouldn’t be able to do that to him. And, selfishly, he didn’t want to be alone.

 

It felt a lot like his brother’s dying wish. To stay with Yixing and care for him, or to stay together and care for each other. He remembered his brother after their parents and grandmother died, bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders for Junmyeon’s sake and doing it with a smile. Junmyeon could bear this for him.

 

“Do you still want to be my carrot?” Yixing breathed a note of laughter and took his hand.

 

“Always bunny.”

 

“Then we’ll keep going together.”

**Author's Note:**

> **[1001 Tales' mods: Don't forget to leave kudos and comments for the writer!]**


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